Humor Articles / White Papers
"Beyond Goofy to Teddy Bear Range"
by Shobhana "Shobi Dobi" Schwebke
We are all goofy — we are clowns. But what happens in the hospital after "goofy" or because of "goofy?" What doors and windows, eyes and hearts open because of "goofy?"
The hospital is so focused on the physical body that the mere presence of a clown by contrast is a merry predicament which invites a smile and gives staff and patients permission to play. We bring theater and fantasy into the hospital room. And because we are not asking for anything or administering anything, often we step into that warm and fuzzy place of a trusted friend. How often after doing a goofy magic trick, an adult will just open up to me and a real bond is made. There is something intimate in this very arrangement. After all here we are both in a sense naked. The clown as vulnerable as the patient. What a sweet meeting ground. I often see these patients afterwards in outpatient clinics. My heart jumps with recognition and our smiles connect like old friends - like we've lived through something together, and we have! In the same way children share stories and secrets with my puppets and we all become family. A child will often let a clown in where only her/his teddy bear resides. Even children who profess to be afraid of clowns or hate clowns will eventually come around to be friends. Where else in the hospital can they find a friendly living teddy bear who dispenses only unconditional love.
This intimacy, where we touch each others' hearts, is awesome, but is it risky? We spend our lives moving away from discomfort, so it takes commitment and courage to move toward suffering. Is it risky to open our hearts to another and touch their suffering? We have to have the courage to face our own fears and reactive minds. All the "what ifs" have to kneel to a higher purpose.
We learn to clown in an environment without expecting audience participation. We risk a clown fall (not being funny) for the sake of a twinkle in an eye or the fading smile of a sedated patient or the tiny wave from a tiny hand of a tiny crying child.
There is, however, protection in being a clown. It is not professional distance. We cannot be distant from ourselves and those around us and remain spontaneous. It is a place I call performance mode - high or low. A clown in performance is in an imaginary world. It is not insulation from others' suffering it is more like a heart-to-heart open exchange. I speak out of my inner clown and my inner clown seems to be connected to a higher spirit. When I am in "Open Heart Clowning" Shobi does things that Shobhana has not thought about. I've learned to trust that connection. It's as if we gather all we sense, stir it in a big bowl of our own joy, and dish it out with smiles. My responsibility is to keep in character and keep that connection.
Often I sit in awe of my own inner clown - Shobi Dobi. Where does this courage come from? People say "How can you do this? I could never do that it would be too painful." We are only ordinary people doing extraordinary things. But we know we are not the doers. When this heart-to-heart connection happens, it is so magical that the compassion dissolves the fear in the present moment, then love drives the courage.
© by Shobhana "Shobi Dobi" Schwebke, editor of The Hospital Clown Newsletter.
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Shobhana "Shobi Dobi" Schwebke
